first attempt in rhyming

الكاتب : T_K   المشاهدات : 461   الردود : 2    ‏2003-12-14
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2003-12-14
  1. T_K

    T_K قلم فضي

    التسجيل :
    الإعجاب :
    Hi everyone .. this is a first attempt in rhyming
    someone challenged me into it .. that's the only reason am doing it lol
    I don't know anything about poetry or rhyming, so keep that in mind

    Love is a crime

    Ya you heard me love is a crime
    Who said it was a fortune
    Man it’s not even a dime
    Man the sun doesn’t even shine
    Because of all the bloody crying
    Of victims of the same crime
    All ending up paying the same fine
    And that’s … their hearts dying!

    First we choose the wrong chick
    The one with the nice hair and neck
    The one who wants to party and drink
    The one to leave you for some wacky ass jerk
    Who then goes through the same ass flick!

    And what else from love do we gain?
    Males and females going insane
    That’s no way to maintain
    The life we live and still be sane
    It’s a way to lose our minds
    Our soles, families in no times

    It’s a shame how we act big and tough
    But can’t resist a girl’s touch
    It’s a shame when we fall with a big crush
    We can’t even eat lunch
    Hell we can’t even sleep much

    Man it’s pitiful
    How we can love a girl so beautiful
    Or a girl loves a guy so truthful
    And then find out they’re just not so faithful

    Man! Get real
    This thing is not the real deal
    It’s not the ideal
    The feeling we’re supposed to feel
    I’ll tell you it’s a nice dream
    So nice it feels like eating ice cream

    But too bad it’s just a fairy tale
    One that comes alive only in sunny dale
    Where the sun and moon never fail
    One that you see when you go to asleep
    And stops as soon as you get too deep
    U might even see it in Disney land
    Or 007 movie brand
    But not in my yet thinking mind

    I wonder if we’ll ever find true love
    Where money and the Benz are not above
    Where love has no specific pre-reqs
    And if it’s not, then the hell with it
    It can go with the rest
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2003-12-14
  3. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

    التسجيل :
    الإعجاب :
    [align=left][color=660066]Why do u accuse LOVE :(

    T-K if u don't find the true love yet ........., taht dosen't mean it's not exist.......:( [/color][color=FF6699]
    T-K i like ur quote which says :

    It is better to have loved and lost
    Than to have never loved at all. [/color]

    [color=660066]Nice try from u .....,although u use many pessimistic and despair words in ur poems.....,but it's still distinctive and one of it's kind>>>>>:eek: [/color]

    [color=660066]and goooo on..:) [/color]
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2003-12-15
  5. T_K

    T_K قلم فضي

    التسجيل :
    الإعجاب :
    thanks Magdoline for ur comments
    they mean a lot

    I used many passimistic words just because i wanted to
    It might not be exactly how i feel .. but i tried to keep it
    relevant to the title "love is a crime" 1
    maybe i'll try to lose that if i try to rhyme again

    thnx again