a sad and true story

الكاتب : Rita Alshoaibi   المشاهدات : 441   الردود : 0    ‏2007-02-25
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2007-02-25
  1. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

    التسجيل :
    الإعجاب :
    Thoughts of a Troubled Mind

    My life is a mess or at least very similar to that. My fiancee just gave birth to our second child but died soon afterwards. Now I'm on my own with my 15-year-old son and my baby daughter. Of course I love them both to death but still I'm scared of answering the questions they might ask because they'll remind me of my loss even more.

    Our love is still present in my heart and soul and it feels as strong as before but nevertheless I already miss stroking her cheek gently. The way she made my life complete can't ever be replaced. It made me happy when I saw her smile and it made me feel miserable when she cried. Even on those very rare occasions when I hurt her deliberately with words, it felt like a thousand needles stuck into my chest when I faced the result. Now all I've left is the memory of the most fantastic part of my life.

    Thinking this through, I wonder if I'll ever be able to move on. Even though her love is still within me I hate to wake up on my own. It will probably take years until I'll dare to go on a date again. Although I'm already 42, I definitely don't have to rush into this because there is no love deeper than the love I experienced in my 18 years with her. Obviously, no woman will ever love me like my fiancee but she could make my life at least a little more enjoyable.

    I couldn't stand my children looking at me, acting as my bad conscience. Will they ever understand that I'm not cheating on their mother? Especially my son will be hurt but what will my daughter think, considering the fact she never knew her? Maybe they'll grow up and understand me but I don't want to wait that long