Cigarette : A pinch of ******* rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. . . Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .Divorce : Future tense of marriage . Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either . Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece . Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power . .. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on . Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before . . Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read . . Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. . . Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do . . Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together . Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. . Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead . . Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." . . Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. . Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. . Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after . . Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.