I Wandered Lonely As An Utumn Leaf...

الكاتب : ماجدولين   المشاهدات : 931   الردود : 13    ‏2003-11-13
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2003-11-13
  1. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    I Wandered Lonely As An Autumn Leaf:eek:


    I wandered lonely as an autumn leaf,
    Trying to find a magic way to relief.

    Hush, I can feel the morning breeze,
    Beside the lake, above the trees.

    Flying over the vale and hill,
    And the holly pain keeps my heart ill.

    I'm not yours any more,
    Not lost, although I long to be...
    Lost as an out brief candle on the shore,
    Or as a snow flake in the sea.

    You love me and I find you still,
    Like a pearl and its shell.

    But when you decide to leave in kind,
    My senses leave me deaf and blind.

    Remember your unfaithful word,
    That we will never be apart.
    And now after you are abroad,
    You leave me gazed and get depart.

    Shall my heart pray for a miracle to kiss away his pain!
    Oh no, it will last cause you are full of vain.

    Ah, love let us be true,
    So faithful, so wise, so blue.

    That our misery defeats our love.:(


    Magdoline
    13/11/2003
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2003-11-13
  3. أبو يمن اصلي

    أبو يمن اصلي قلم فضي

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    Magdoline
    ?Is this your poem

    If yes,
    I will bow and kneel
    For you know not how I feel
    As I read your words and felt the pain
    In every word a love domain
    ...................................
    ..........................
    .....
    ..............................................
    Awaiting your response
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2003-11-13
  5. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    I t is Abo Yemen........

    And i'm ready for ur opinion and criticize:eek:
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2003-11-13
  7. جراهام بل

    جراهام بل مشرف سابق

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    to encourage such a great fictions or literary post,furthermore the sensitiviy of words,I'm going to make this post positioned for a while.
    thanks Magdoline
    Regards :)
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2003-11-13
  9. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    Thanx Adel ........:eek:
    It's a great honor that u positioned my post >>>>
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2003-11-14
  11. T_K

    T_K قلم فضي

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    Your majesty
    that was an outstanding poem
    i just have to add that LOVE can defeat misery
    when one loses love, one thinks misery has fallen
    but one need not to think that way for true love would not do such a thing

    TK
     
  12.   مشاركة رقم : 7    ‏2003-11-14
  13. أبو يمن اصلي

    أبو يمن اصلي قلم فضي

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    back

    Magdolin, you really have pure poetic expressions, language and emotions
    You conveyed ur message smoothly and perfectly through ur poem
    My observations as a reader could be
    1. You started with a romantic view that really touched me with creative imagery, but I felt a sharp transition as you used "and" when you presnted teh idea of pain:
    [color=FF0000]And the holly pain keeps my heart ill[/color]
    2. I believe you followed some form of sonnet, you may wanna look closer into that. You may get it very much sonnet-like and it is actually romantic, so the form of sonnet will make it a masterpiece.
    3. May be I didn't understand some images, like
    You love me and I find you still,"
    [color=FF0000]Like a pearl and its shell"[/color]
    I dunno if you mean taht he is like the pearl & shell OR that you two form one piece, like a pearl & shell; the pearl protected by the shell or growing inside it & once removed, ppl see it beautiful, but it has lost life & opportunity to grow more
    If that is what u mean by the image, which is soooo deep & nice, you may look again into the wording
    You have the poetic sense, so I can't suggest anything, because my suggestion won't be poetic; it'll be more linguistic

    FINAL WORD
    It is a masterpiece
    &
    You have wonderful imagination & poetic language
    Keep it up
     
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  15. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    نص مقتبس من رسالة : T_K
    T-K

    thank you for your attendence :)

    Im with you that love could defeat misery ............
    But when u r depressed every thing around u crash and ruin :(
     
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  17. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    نص مقتبس من رسالة : أبو يمن اصلي

    Dear Abo Yemen,,,,,,,,,,,,
    the image of the pearl and the shell is really clear
    as u said the pearl can't grow or be valuable without the defended shell..

    you can imagen that 2 elements as lovers ..........after all that love someone came and uproot the pearl from its shell :(

    and ur explanation was more than perfect :)

    thanx for calling my humble poem a masterpiece:eek:

    And i really appreciated .......
     
  18.   مشاركة رقم : 10    ‏2003-11-15
  19. ابن نفل

    ابن نفل قلم فضي

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    And now after you are abroad
    You leave me gazed and get depart

    <<<<<< BEAUTIFUL>>>>>>
    I like it very much..simple & straight

    شاعرة يامجدولين ونحن ماندري 00 ماشاءالله عليكي
     

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