The Americanized in the Land ……………..

الكاتب : Rita Alshoaibi   المشاهدات : 774   الردود : 10    ‏2007-12-10
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2007-12-10
  1. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    my husband found this story and translated that to me:
    for me it was really funny so i liked to share it here with u





    The Americanized in the Land ……………..







    Sometimes I have to pretend, that im checking my email, which is completely empty – only from the emails of my friend hotmail and I do that, just to tease my American manager, who is originally Palestinian and he is getting a monthly salary more than 30.000 dollars for actually nothing………..

    But he is spending all his day in front of his laptop – which the price of it is like the rent of my apartment for one year – checking his very important emails – as he is saying to our administration.

    And the truth is that:
    He is flirting with his American girl friend and trying to confence her, that he is more American then her. It just happened a mistake that made his father and mother Palestinian and 4 brothers were killed, when there were resisting the occupation, and that he agrees with president bush with his war against terror.
    And he is speaking very comfortable about the brother country Israel (not only the friend country) and that this brother country – Israel – didn’t do anything wrong – only to be a guest in in area which the people of it don’t know how to trade guests in a nice way.

    This American Palestinian even though he is a Palestinian or very Palestinian but he insists that he is American and he speaks only the American slang – black slang – and he makes a rain on u from the words “shit” and “dam” , etc. and that makes u always think, that he just came out from the movie “snakes on the plain”. This American is not Palestinian anymore and he doesn’t stop treating us with his passport and his embassy which will kick our backs if we stand in front of him and the problem was, that the administration didn’t make him in a higher position for 2 month now.

    My empty lovely email…



    the story will go on...................
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2007-12-11
  3. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    I couldn’t love hotmail – even though it’s the only thing in this life – which sends me emails. I still hate him and always delete its messages, which claim me to do things, which I don’t understand.

    In one of the days I got a new message in my email and it wasn’t from hotmail. It was a colourful message, which promised me to spend the most beautiful days in America.

    And that I can be one of the 50.000 stupid who will win the visa-lottery and all I have to do , to fill an application.

    Can u imagen that: I – the original Arab – goes to America to wash the dishes in one of the restaurants there and to know American girl, who will make him be attracted to her, even though he is looking ugly…… and then he marries her and get babies who called Sam and Michael, and then I get American citizen and walk in the streets of New York, speaking about the Mother America, who made me get rid from my stupid Arabic citizen and I spend my time with cursing Arabic leaders as I which, without being afraid from spending the rest of my life in the jail.

    Shame on u America.

    Well, I found myself filling the application.

    I don’t think that I salt my believes, because life is full of applications, that we have to fill them sometimes without being afraid from the inactive thing inside me, which called “conscience”.



    Sometimes I think, that the bill of the phone is ringing in a sleepy way. I don’t know how, but I believe, that the phone which rings at 4 in the morning, is a phone that really didn’t wake up and of course didn’t wash his face until now.
    “Yes,
    The voice ….

    Hello, this is Christine from US-Visas. Is this Mustafa?
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2007-12-12
  5. BLUE RAY

    BLUE RAY عضو متميّز

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    the rest of the story fast please ...because i`m lossiny my patient
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2007-12-12
  7. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    ok
    here it comes
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2007-12-12
  9. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    Mustafa??

    The caller was blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….
    U are asking me: how did I know that

    Because such a voice can be only a voice for “a blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….”

    Me: yes yes, fantastic, please, we are cheese burger, double size, yes please, go go, yeah

    Obviously the “blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….” …didn’t understand anything from what I said.

    Then I had to wake my oldest brother up, because he knows some American words “***u”, “son of ****”………so I thought maybe he could help me.

    My brother:
    (in Arabic) hello, welcome, how are u, do u know scarlet Johansson?
    Then I had to kidnap the phone from his hand so fast, because the stupid couldn’t be normal in front of this “blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin”……..

    But alhamdulillah, this “blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….” ..could speak Arabic and she told me, that my mother was praying for me in (laylat al qadr) because the computer chose me to be one of the 50.000 stupid, who will go to America.

    Then I told her: “may god bless u”. U don’t know how much I love America.

    Do u believe that, my childhood dream was to sell hot dogs in the streets of New York?

    And then she laughed a cheap laughter, - but respectful - .
    A laughter that comes only from “blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….”…. and then she told me that I have too pay money to an account in Israel with visa-card.

    I answered so fast “but I don’t have visa-card”……..


    Of course the mean readers noticed that, I didn’t say anything about the account in Israel.

    Actually, what was in my mind in that moment, is how to get a dam visa-card to pay the money……….



    I don’t know, why I feel that America is beautiful. And promise to give a lot of democraty and goodness to the humanity.

    And Israel is a brother country – not a friend country.
    And all its mistake is, that there are some bad people fighting Israel because Israel wants peace and Israel wants to be part of our problems.

    Do u think, that I salt my believes just because America opened its arms to hold me? Or it’s only that, I am a poor man who found a chance to live? Especially when the one who was speaking to me is a “blonde American girl with a nice body, blue eyes, soft skin….”….

    Bye bye




    end of the story
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2007-12-13
  11. BLUE RAY

    BLUE RAY عضو متميّز

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    hahahahaha....that was so good....


    :D:D:D
     
  12.   مشاركة رقم : 7    ‏2007-12-13
  13. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    thx BLUE RAY
    i appreciate that u liked it..............


    [​IMG]
     
  14.   مشاركة رقم : 8    ‏2007-12-14
  15. yemen_samurai

    yemen_samurai عضو متميّز

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    a very nice, meaningful and diplomatic story
    any way, my yahoo mail is full of e-mails from the same USA GREENCARD website
     
  16.   مشاركة رقم : 9    ‏2007-12-14
  17. yemen_samurai

    yemen_samurai عضو متميّز

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    a very nice, meaningful and diplomatic story
    any way, my yahoo mail is full of e-mails from the same USA GREENCARD website
     
  18.   مشاركة رقم : 10    ‏2007-12-14
  19. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    thanks magdi fur looking for the topic
    i wanted to share this story, because i really liked it so much
    and
    i never heard a story like this before


    jumah mubaraka
    and



    [​IMG]
     

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