My Thoughts Part 2

الكاتب : YemeniQueen   المشاهدات : 2,736   الردود : 55    ‏2007-11-21
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2007-11-21
  1. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    With divorce rate on an ultimate high and so many failed marriages around me, I wondered about the causes of it all. Everyone has their own take on such an issue, but I want to discuss my thoughts on that in hopes of figuring out why so many women find themselves divorced. 0

    Marriage is a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman. It is a protection from the evils of this world and a guard against the Shaytan (Satan). God made marriage half the Deen (faith) for a reason and it most definitely is not so that man can use and abuse woman to feel superior. Yet, we find that within our own society, within our own kin that women are used and abused, then thrown aside like nothing. 0

    What’s even worse is that the woman is usually the one blamed for the failed marriage! No one ever points fingers towards the men and this goes back to the mentality many have that if women would have only obeyed their husbands, they would have not found themselves divorced. What about those who are conscious of their duties towards their husbands? Why are they categorized with those types of women? And what makes a person automatically assume that the woman is at fault without even thinking that maybe, just maybe, the man is the one who screwed up?1

    The problem with our society is that it is plagued with ignorance. In our society, most people focus on the man’s RIGHTS and the woman’s OBLIGATIONS in marriage. What about the man’s OBLIGATIONS and the woman’s RIGHTS in marriage as given in the Quran and the Sunnah of our most beloved Prophet(PBUH)? Why are these ignored?1

    I often wonder about the things that run through a man’s mind when he decides to toy with a woman’s honor (sharaf) and reputation. What does he get out of it? How does that benefit or better his life in any way, shape, or form? 0

    They think that by instilling fear in their wives, they will insure that their wives will never disobey them…boy are they wrong!!! That only makes the wives hate them more. A woman with self-worth and self-respect will not deal with that type of garbage from any breathing individual…at all…whatsoever; unless she deems herself worthless. In which case, I think she is very sad. 0

    Belittling one’s wife does not do anything for a man except reveal his insecurities and lack of confidence in his abilities as a husband. Does he really think that he will gain anything such as respect or admiration? I don’t think so! I think it only makes him look like a fool. 0

    I know that there are some decent men out there; but the problem with them is that they make up a very small percentage of the male population and are therefore overshadowed.
    A lot of men marry women because they will get something out of it (i.e. papers/citizenship and the like); but why do some of them have to put a girl through hell before divorcing her? This is something I never understood. It is appalling.

    These are my thoughts for now. There’s more that I want to say regarding this issue, but I don’t have the time at the moment…Insha’Allah I will talk more later. Please feel free to comment. I am interested in hearing your thoughts on this matter.​
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2007-11-21
  3. الشاب عادل

    الشاب عادل قلم ماسي

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    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله، ا ما بعد

    What you have is very true. I'd like to add that marriage is successful from its first step [i.e. picking the wife, and agreement upon the husband]. So if this step was done right, most of the time, problems would least likely to occur. But if the marriage was random, or by force [ as it goes with Yemeni families], you'll have an instable marriage.


    Divorce rate varies with the amount of education both parties received.


    Yemenis have low divorce rate compared to others, because women have lots of patience. and usually, an educated man will marry less educated women[sometimes with none] and that's what keeps her with him since if she gets divorced, she'll create more problems to her family and to her children.

    Now in the case of a woman who's highly educated, marries a less educated man, there is the bigger problem. Divorce happens here faster since the two parties are in two different worlds...but the woman here can fight back...and that's where the divorce comes in handy.


    I hope with my small intervention, I have cleared some things to both the author and the delightful reading members.


    Regards,


    Adel
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2007-11-21
  5. الشاب عادل

    الشاب عادل قلم ماسي

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    ---------------
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2007-11-21
  7. anti_propaganda

    anti_propaganda مشرف سابق

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    once again your thoughts prove to be more than just your thoughts.....may be they were so when they were in your head ,but after you put them down with such an elegant talent as words like those you shared with us, your thoughts become the sound of the unheard, the vision of the unseen and the up-rise of the unrecognized.0.....


    great thoughts with neat analysis and appealing logic.

    {deserves to be pinned} 0

    thanx for sharing sister

    luvs
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2007-11-21
  9. Bero

    Bero الجهاز الإداري

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    You

    are



    so



    marvelous


    with


    your

    talented



    explanation




    waaaaaaw


    I really enjoyed it and I hope everyone read it carefully and knows Woman Rights Exactly...wallah I like your thoughts and I'm waiting for the rest


    Bero
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2007-11-21
  11. samiah

    samiah مشرف سابق

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    that was a nice way of addressing the topic
    i'll be back with my reply inshallah
    :)
     
  12.   مشاركة رقم : 7    ‏2007-11-22
  13. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    hi my queen, i must come back later to read it
    but
    i know that i like ur talent to write

    [​IMG]
     
  14.   مشاركة رقم : 8    ‏2007-11-22
  15. yemen_samurai

    yemen_samurai عضو متميّز

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    really nice, clear and organized mind to shape such a topic
    really amazing
    i enjoyed it alot
    and it made me sad about what's going on
    u may feel that more painful than i do as a wpmen
    but we should all feel that pain as women r mothers, sisters and our life partner
    they shold get all the respect they deserve


    thank uagain sister for ur topic
    really graet

    waiting fo more
     
  16.   مشاركة رقم : 9    ‏2007-11-23
  17. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    Wa Alaikum Asalam my dearest brother​


    Exactly!! But...AFTER that first step is taken in the correct way, many women are still mistreated...why? I am not trying to bash on the brothers, but simply trying to understand the purpose of mistreating one's wife especially when she hasnt done anything wrong.
    Generally speaking, divorce rate is high and continues to rise
    And that is 7aram to marry a non-educated girl just so that she can put up with a man's garbage!! Many men marry a girl and mistreat her if he sees that her family are not by her side of she is yateemah(an orphan)...
    YES!!!! That is sooo true...wallahi it is...
    Thank you for taking the time to state your views...much appreciated
     
  18.   مشاركة رقم : 10    ‏2007-11-23
  19. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    ! You are very welcome ya akhi

    Thank you for your kindest comment...greatly appreciate it :)
     

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