A "few" questions people should ask before marriage

الكاتب : yemenreform   المشاهدات : 1,614   الردود : 33    ‏2007-10-28
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2007-10-28
  1. yemenreform

    yemenreform عضو متميّز

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    GENERAL QUESTIONS:
    • Why are you interested in marrying at this time?


    • How would you describe yourself?


    • What do you consider your greatest achievement to date?


    • Describe three experiences you’ve had that you’ve benefited/learned from.



    • What has been the hardest obstacle you’ve faced thus far in life?


    How has it affected you?


    • If there was one thing you would like to change about yourself, what would it be?


    • What are your goals for this life? What would you like to accomplish before you die?


    • What are you looking for in a spouse?


    DECIDING WHETHER TO MARRY:
    • What role do you think parents should play in helping to select your spouse?


    • What process do you want to use to determine whether you have found the right spouse? Phone? E-mail? Chaperoned or unchaperoned in person? How much time do you want to decide?



    DEEN (ISLAMIC LIFESTYLE):
    • What do you do to feel close to Allah (swt)?


    • How to you hope to get closer to Allah (swt) through marriage?


    • What do you want to improve about yourself Islamically?


    • How many times per day do you pray? What about while at work?


    • How much Qur’an have you memorized?


    • To what extent are you involved in the Islamic community?


    • Do you fast during Ramadan?


    • How do you determine how to distribute Zakat? How do you give in Sadaqa?


    • Have you been on Hajj or Umrah? When would you like to go?


    • Are you affiliated with a particular masjid or Islamic group?


    • How important do you think it is to only eat Halal meat?


    • How important do you think it is for women to wear hijab? What about men?


    • How do you like to celebrate religious holidays?


    • Do you go for jummah prayers?


    LIVING AS A MUSLIM MINORITY:
    • Do you have non-Muslim friends?


    • What do you think Muslims should do on American holidays?




    EXTENDED FAMILY:
    • What do you think parents/extended family’s role should be in making important decisions: wedding planning, child rearing, vacations, where you will live?


    • What do you do if there is a conflict between your spouse and your family?


    • Are you comfortable living with extended family, particularly as they age? Are other accomodations possible?


    • How much time do you anticipate spending with your extended family, in person or by phone?


    • Would you describe the character of your family members?


    • What have you learned from observing your family that you do or do not want to incorporate into your marriage?


    PROFESSION:
    • What career path do you plan on taking?


    • Will both husband and wife work outside the home?


    • Under what conditions would you be willing to move to further your or your spouse’s professional growth?


    • How much time do you spend at work?


    • How do you plan to balance time at work and time with the family?


    • What kind of business functions will you ask each other to host/attend?


    • Would you encourage/support the idea of me going back to school for advanced degrees?


    • How would we support ourselves if we both had to be in school?



    INTERESTS/ACTIVITIES:
    • How do you like to spend your free time?


    • How much time do you spend watching TV?


    • What interests would you like to share with your spouse?


    • How much time alone would you like to have?


    • How do you feel about separate vacations? Business trips? Conferences?


    SOCIAL LIFE:
    • How much time do you want to spend with friends? By yourself? As a couple?


    • How would you feel about your spouse having friends of the opposite gender?


    WHERE TO LIVE:
    • Where do you want to live? Why?


    • Will you want to live near your extended family?


    • Do you prefer city? Suburb? Countryside?


    • Do you want to live in the U.S. or abroad?


    • How important is it to live in a large Muslim community?




    CHILDREN:
    • How many children do you want to have?


    • When do you think you’ll be ready to have children?


    • How will you distribute responsibility for child rearing? Diapering?


    • What do you think it is important to teach children?


    • What is your view on raising children? Do you spank?


    • To what extent would you be willing to utilize family members, friends, baby sitters or day are to watch your children?


    • How will you ensure your children have a good Islamic education?


    • What would you do if you could not have children?


    • Do you want your children to grow up bilingual? In what languages?



    MONEY:
    • How many personal savings/checking accounts would you want?


    • Who should be responsible for paying bills?


    • What about prior assets?


    • How will you determine how much should be spent on the household? On personal items? On charity?


    • How much should either person be able to spend by themselves without consulting the other?
    • How much should be paid out in maher (dowry)? Up front versus deferred?



    • If we were on an uncomfortably tight budget, and your brother asked you for a generous loan for a third attempt at a start-up when the first two had failed, would you give it to him?


    • What would be your top five criteria for developing a financial plan?



    LAST NAMES:
    • Should the wife change her last name?


    • What last name should the children carry?



    HOUSE:
    • How do you feel about cleanliness, neatness and housework?


    • How do you feel about knickknacks and artwork?


    • Who is responsible for work around the house?


    • What are the household chores you are used to doing?


    • Have you ever lived alone? Have you ever had a roommate? Have you always lived with your parents?


    • How do you feel about pets?


    • What are your preferences in terms of food? Mostly from your own ethnic group, or a more diverse palate? Only home-made, or also convenience or from restaurants? Meat or vegetarian?


    • If we were both working and we both got home about the same time, would you expect the wife to always be the cook?


    • How do you feel about smoking?



    DIFFERENCES:
    • What are your pet peeves?


    • How should disagreements be resolved?


    • How do you act when you get upset?


    • How would you go about making you spouse happy when s/he was feeling down?


    • What would you want your spouse to do if you disagreed about something?


    • What if the disagreement is over an interpretation of Islam?


    • Who would be your choice of arbiters, or how do you feel about arbitration?


    • How do you feel about marriage counseling?



    MONOGAMY/FIDELITY/HONESTY:
    • What are your views?


    • What is your experience with families with a second wife?


    • Will infidelity automatically end the marriage?


    CULTURE:
    • What role does culture play in your life?
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2007-10-28
  3. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    !!!!????OMG!!! A FEW

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2007-10-28
  5. الشاب عادل

    الشاب عادل قلم ماسي

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    على ايدك يا yemenreform

    :D زوج عاهد

    وبعدين زوجني :D
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2007-10-28
  7. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    قلنا قعو رجال و زوجو انفسكم

    :D :D :D
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2007-10-28
  9. عــاهد

    عــاهد مشرف سابق

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    LOL Reform is my best friend man, anytime i see him we'd be talking about zawagah. But he never asks me this much questions.
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2007-10-28
  11. عــاهد

    عــاهد مشرف سابق

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    لو هو بيدي هاها اوووووو لاختار احسن بنت!
     
  12.   مشاركة رقم : 7    ‏2007-10-28
  13. yemenreform

    yemenreform عضو متميّز

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    I guess now you all will have a lot to talk about during your engagement
     
  14.   مشاركة رقم : 8    ‏2007-10-28
  15. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    كل شيء بيدك روح و اختار احسن بنت محد قال لك لا
    بس انت دلوع تريد من يداديك لعندها


    :D :D :D :D
     
  16.   مشاركة رقم : 9    ‏2007-10-28
  17. YemeniQueen

    YemeniQueen مشرف سابق

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    LOOOL...I dont think I want to ask my fiance ALL these questions ...my goal is to keep him, not scare him off! :DLOL :D
     
  18.   مشاركة رقم : 10    ‏2007-10-28
  19. عــاهد

    عــاهد مشرف سابق

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    لا يا حجه.....انا اروح ادادي انا

    قد داديت في اليمن لو ما شبعت...............ههههههههههههههههه اياااااااااااااااااااام
     

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