The Essay Competition

الكاتب : samiah   المشاهدات : 1,678   الردود : 23    ‏2007-07-24
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  1. samiah

    samiah مشرف سابق

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    The Essay Competition

    This Topic is to present all the Essays and for voting at the same time
    Thanks for all our competitors and I wish them good luck


    Rules for Voting

    1-A Competitor can not vote for him or herself ,
    but can vote for another competitor
    2-Vote for one essay only

    Vote by the number that's given for each essay

    Voting starts from July 23 until July 30

    Essay # 1



    Our Yemeni Government

    It all starts from first grade. They wake up in the morning walk to school, do their best to get the point of the lesson. Same steps are repeated through out their school years till they graduate from high school. It is not a regular graduation! A graduation that you’ve worked really hard for, to get a satisfying harvest. Stayed up all night studying the lessons, missed all the good times you could’ve spent with friends and families. Its all for the sake of earning good grades in your senior year of high school which could get you a good major. A major that you need to qualify for a decent job through out your life. On the other hand there is some one who never studies, sleeps, comes late to class, and is better qualified than you!
    Some make it to the success level, others did not or were not able to. The half that made it to this point are happy that they’ve entered university or college. Now comes the interesting part. Public colleges in Yemen were closed. Why? They said (the government) because so many students graduate and don’t find jobs. Isn’t that your concern thou? Still they said you have a chance to enter a private college.
    WHAT??? Private college? Students didn’t have enough money to pay for their school expenses! How do you expect them to go to a private college? Its like the government is putting a barrier in every student’s way Instead of encouraging them.
    The students that finally made it to a private college and whom their parents don’t work as government officials, graduate with a BC Or Masters and end up Selling Qat! They end up selling Qat because the government didn’t provide them with enough resources to work. On the other hand The students that have access to the government or, whom their fathers are government officials get the jobs without breaking a sweat! Its because their corrupt fathers that make up the government, reserved the spot for them. Not only that, they even sell it to some one in exchange of a graft, or a bribe. A spot that they didn’t put any effort for. A spot that they don’t know anything about.
    That is our weakness! We are selling our future, our kid’s future, our country’s future. Who are We fooling? We are not fooling any one else but ourselves!!!
    Our current government needs a 180 degrees change. These changes could be accomplished by, educating the next generation, Putting responsible people in charge of government positions. People that know what they are doing, People that would help others get jobs, not people that only care about them selves.
    In conclusion, Its true that our government is not doing their job! And its not going to change itself. In fact its going to get worse. We have the solution in our hands. We can make the changes. And Insha allah allah will help us overcome this issue.
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    Essay # 2​

    Illiteracy in The Yemen Community

    Illiteracy is not only to be unable to read and write, but also when people tend to understand Islamic religion their way, not the way Allah stated it for us. For that reason, not only dark thoughts spread to their brains, but to their hearts too. For example, men who take advantage of illiterate women in inheritance issues, where men do not give women a share of inheritance. Allah says in Surat Al-nisa, verse 7,“From what is left by parents and those nearest related there is a share for men and a share for women, whether the property be small or large, a determinate share”. Therefore, it is obligated in Islam for every Muslim, whether male or female, to seek at least the basic education in religion

    However, another version of illiteracy is having a negative social attitude towards girls’ education, due to old Yemeni traditions that do not contribute to our Islamic beliefs. For example, in village areas, families prefer to send only boys to school while girls remain at home to help their mothers. In addition, official statistics show that illiteracy rate stands at 29.8 percent for men and 62.1 percent for women. The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Seeking knowledge is a duty of every Muslim.” If women had been excluded from this exhortation, the prophet (peace be upon him) would have certainly said so. In fact, in another version of the same hadith, it is said, “on every Muslim, male and female”. Nevertheless, the first word from the Quran that was brought down to Mohamed peace be upon him was (read). In addition, a wise wisdom by Ali Ibn abe taleb stated that parents should not teach their old traditions nowadays to their children; because they would not be suitable for the present time, they live in, when he said
    (لا تعلموا اولادكم عاداتكم فأنهم مخلوفون لزمن غير زمانكم).
    This is a strong message to prevent and fight such traditions, which will negatively affect our community by keeping us a thousand steps behind any type of development, starting within ourselves, by being strongly knowledgeable and up to date to face the world, and lead Yemen to development on all levels as well.

    On the other hand, males and females can be victims of the illiteracy and collapse of families. For example, early marriage hinder girls education and leads to high drop out rates among High School female students and sometimes earlier than Junior High. Many girls that are put into marriage at an early age are deprived of their childhood years because of the constant notion that they will be married off very soon, it is put into their minds at a very early age, which forces them to mature rapidly. Other disadvantages include, early-unplanned pregnancies, which have lead to many miscarriages among young girls and sometimes death. Men also face many things including financial responsibilities, which may become a big problem because of the wide spread unemployment among young men and men in general in Yemen. Education is also limited in men who choose early marriage. Some are dropouts with (Qat degrees). They are forced to look for any job to support their fast growing family. Some are not educated about family planning and birth control. Some do not separate between pregnancies until it is too late to survive as a family, financially, physically and emotionally, putting strain on the marriage and sometimes leading to divorce. Men may consider marriage to a woman with a citizenship to another country in the hopes of finding a stable job so that he can support his family. This path sometimes can lead the man to over look the qualities in the women he is marring because his intention to use the marriage as a ticket to get out of the country.

    As a member of the Yemeni society, holding to Islamic law customs, and going along with its rules and standards, it should be known that this inferiority view of Yemeni women does not come from Islamic religion at all. It has to be recognized that traditional social culture should not mix with Islamic laws, rights, and concepts. It should be far away from this pure religion, in order to save it from the sheer accused characteristic it faces today. However, Yemeni society has to keep these traditions and customs far away from Islam, which has saved the dignity of women and their human rights.

    In conclusion, Muslim women must also strive to acquire essential life-skills that would make them self-reliant. Taking into account the volatile nature of social circumstances in this time, it would be suicidal for Muslim women to ignore such education. Still another factor to consider: In Islam, women’s roles in rearing future generations of Muslims are far more crucial than that of men. It is understood that we cannot rear intellectually and physically healthy children unless mothers are educated and can therefore educate children. Based on this fact; it is not at all surprising when we see that many of the great scholars of Islam had educated mothers who planted the first intellectual seeds of greatness in their lives. This is the only way we can successfully end the illiteracy pattern that has gone on for generations upon generations in the Yemeni society and unfortunately is still going on today in the 21st century.
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    Essay # 3​


    Yemeni American Made-up Traditions*

    It was the morning of October 7th, 2004, when Salma*, a Yemeni American who just graduated out of high school, was told by her parents that she's getting married the following summer. Her parents told her that someone from her native village in Yemen asked for her hand and they agreed instantly. Salma was very shocked by the seriousness of her parents to get her married to a person whom she never talked to or even met. She also could not believe that they're 'selling' her with a dowry of forty million American dollars. This much amount of money was paid to Salma's parents for the ultimate purpose of marriage and getting the papers for the perspective husband. Salma had to accept her parents' decision after many attempts of resisting but she had no choice. Two years after her marriage, and after she finally got her husband his permanent residency in the U.S., she was divorced by him. Not only that, she was humiliated by him, as if she was just a product that he bought from the super market.

    Dear readers, this is just one of the horrific stories that we usually hear from here and there about these kind of marriages. As noticed these days, Yemeni Americans have made this tradition of marriage. For most of the Yemeni Americans, they follow the following 'protocols' when it comes to marriage.

    For the boy: Once the boy in the family reaches the 'Yemeni' age of marriage which is 20-16, mostly the parents decide to travel to Yemen and get him married there. One reason for this marriage is to 'pick' the 'religious' and 'non-greedy' wife for their child. They normally would describe the girls who live in the United States as non-religious and greedy especially if they go/went to college. Another reason for this marriage, in the family's opinion, is to make the child renew his connection with his home country.

    For the girl: The take is different when it comes to the girls. Once the girl in the family reaches the 'Yemeni' age of 17-20, the family becomes fortunate. Most of them travel to Yemen and get her married there as well. This time, picking the husband is not like picking the wife. They won't pick the 'religious' and 'non-greedy' man. They will choose the man who will pay the highest!! Once the highest 'bidder' wins, the girl will get married to him and get him all necessary papers to get a visa to the United States. This marriage becomes sort of like a business transaction. I believe IT IS a business transaction.

    This marriage has been so popular in the United States for the previous decade and it had created many problems in the society including and not limited to:

    - Constant arguments between the husband and the wife due to the differences in culture and these arguments end the marriage once the 'business transaction' is complete.
    - Dowry prices go up in Yemen, and decrease in marriages in the Yemeni society
    - Decrease in marriage percentage both in the Yemeni American and Yemeni society

    In conclusion, this made-up 'Yemeni American tradition' is very dangerous, where divorces percentages will increase in both ends and will result in unhealthy families. Hopefully, the Yemeni American parents will finally wake up and realize that the business marriages are destroying their children's future and they should be looking out for their children's future not the money and fortunate.
    *****************************
    *Note: This article on April 14th, 2006 and enhanced on July 23rd, 2007
    Note the first version (April 14th, 2006) was written in Arabic.
    **Another Note: Salma's story is true but the name of the girl was changed due to her privacy.



    Thought of Ahad
    Coordination of Samiah​
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2007-07-24
  3. عــاهد

    عــاهد مشرف سابق

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    I'm voting for Essay Number 2
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2007-07-24
  5. maram

    maram عضو فعّال

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    another voice for essay number 2
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2007-07-25
  7. Asgarnia Lord

    Asgarnia Lord عضو

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    I like the 3rd essay

    I 'd like to state the reasons but i am not sure if its allowed
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2007-07-25
  9. عــاهد

    عــاهد مشرف سابق

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    Welcome bro,

    its nice having your posts lighten the forum!

    sure feel free to exchange your useful thoughts with us.
    We could learn from a person like you!


    salam
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2007-07-25
  11. Asgarnia Lord

    Asgarnia Lord عضو

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    I voted for the third post thought it is not really an essay

    or in other words it doesn't have the structure of an essay

    the second one is very well organized and contain the classical essay structure that we are used to.

    I want to apologize for the essay writers number 1 and 2 because I just scammed through their writings

    The third one graped my attention because it had an interesting situations

    = )
     
  12.   مشاركة رقم : 7    ‏2007-07-25
  13. samiah

    samiah مشرف سابق

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    please feel free to comment on any essay, plus voting
    Thank you
     
  14.   مشاركة رقم : 8    ‏2007-07-25
  15. a7la_yemenia

    a7la_yemenia عضو

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    im going with number 2
    they were all very well written and nice to read i have to say for the last one it depends on the family, i know for sure that i would not be sold like a poduct for the highest price.
    Good Job and may the best one win
     
  16.   مشاركة رقم : 9    ‏2007-07-25
  17. إبراهيم ناصر

    إبراهيم ناصر مشرف سابق

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    i will go with

    Essay # 3
     
  18.   مشاركة رقم : 10    ‏2007-07-25
  19. ابراهيم صياد

    ابراهيم صياد قلم ذهبي

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    They all kind of sharing the same idea
    essay one talks about our students in yemen
    essay 2 and 3 talk about girls in the US
    in essay one I fully agree
    in essay 2 and 3 I want to say not all are true
    for example not everyone marrys for paper and may be the girl is too educated where she reaches the point that she wants to be amercan girl and tell her husband she can do what ever she wants
    so in essay 2 and 3 don't take the idea in general and say everyine does that there are some respectfull yemenies here and there and if there is something wrong its both from the family and the gril because if the parents taught their kids what allah said they will be fine so the problem is that the family and the kids are not following allah guide lines so if they do they will choose the right person and the gril will choose the right person

    thats my point of view

    now

    essay one contains alot of fragments such as
    ??? Private college?
    thats not a complete sentance

    essay 2 and 3 lack fragments

    essay 2 was well organized the intro was broad and how it should be the details are in the body paragraphs

    essay 3 was weak because the writer went stright to the point
    he or she gave details in the intro
    your intro should be very general then in the body paragraph you talk about salame

    so you see that

    I VOTE FOR ESSAY
    #
    TWO
     
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