Types of computer viruses

الكاتب : Rita Alshoaibi   المشاهدات : 406   الردود : 3    ‏2007-04-27
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2007-04-27
  1. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    [​IMG]



    Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

    Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

    Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

    Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

    AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

    The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

    Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

    Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

    Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

    Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

    Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

    Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

    David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

    Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

    Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

    Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

    Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

    George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

    Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

    Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

    Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

    Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

    Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

    New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

    Nike virus: Just Does It!

    Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a ........ shredder.

    Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

    Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

    Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

    Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

    PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

    Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

    Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

    Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

    Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

    Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

    Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

    Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

    Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

    UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

    Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2007-04-28
  3. yemenyniga

    yemenyniga عضو نشيط

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    A Computer Science student writes his first letter to his wife after merriage


    He sent her an Email saying :


    I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER !!


    Believe me it is true...


    You installed the best in me. Your picture is always in my
    background.
    You clicked my heart gently. You drive me crazy when I see you.
    Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.
    You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted.
    I'm always connected to you with more than 56 HPS (Heartbeats Per
    Second).
    You hacked my brain and registered your name in it.
    You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my
    emotions at the same time.
    I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding.
    I always feel you close to me when I shut down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass.
    You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out.
    I dream of being your only server as long as I live.
    You don't have to search for me, because we are always linked to each other.
    I see your name everywhere, my Front Page, my homepage and all my
    software.
    I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you.
    you are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do?
    You formatted my life and added happiness to view.


    Believe me it is true...


    I love you more than my CPU



    copied
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2007-04-28
  5. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

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    thank u soooooooooo much for giving this story
    i liked so much to read it

    have a nice day and u are always sooooooooo WELCOME


    i wanted just to say "thanks" with that
    [​IMG]
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2007-04-28
  7. Rita Alshoaibi

    Rita Alshoaibi مشرف سابق

    التسجيل :
    ‏2006-07-02
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    thank u soooooooooo much for giving this story
    i liked so much to read it

    have a nice day and u are always sooooooooo WELCOME


    i wanted just to say "thanks" with that
    [​IMG]
     

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