1. The Law of Common Sense Never accept a drink from a urologist. 2. The Law of Reality Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 3. The Law of Self Sacrifice When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. 4. The Law of Volunteering If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. 5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. 6. The Law of Motivation Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. 7. Boob's Law You always find something in the last place you look. 8. Wailer's Law Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. 9. Law of Probable Dispersal Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 10. Law of Volunteer Labor People are always available for work in the past tense. 11. Conway's Law In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. 12. Iron Law of Distribution Them that has, gets. 13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology There is always one more bug. 14. Law of Drunkenness You can't fall off the floor. 15. Heeler's Law The first myth of management is that it exists. 16. Osborne's Law Variables won't; constants aren't. 17. Main's Law For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. 18. Weinberg's Second Law If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.