an essay i have to do

الكاتب : خالد   المشاهدات : 546   الردود : 4    ‏2006-12-10
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2006-12-10
  1. خالد

    خالد عضو متميّز

    التسجيل :
    ‏2004-01-07
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    i have just finished an essay i have to do in order to go to high school and they toll me to do it in English i hope you all like it
    you might find some mistake because this my first draft and i hope for all of you to edit for me thinks

    The reason that the united state government is the most powerful and stronger government in the world is because two reasons the first one is the constitution. The constitution is writing paper by the smarter men’s such as Thomas Jefferson john smith Alexander Hamilton and many others that were very educated men. That makes sure that the government not too much powerful so they created the 3 branches in the America constitution the legislative, executive and judicial branches which are the congers, president and the Supreme Court. And make sure no branches is more powerful then the other. The second reason was that the American government followed what is writing in the constitution which is very different than others different government in different country. The American government did great job of making sure the national government did not become powerful and it provide the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. Two examples that demonstrate this is the check and balance and the bill of right.


    The American government did great job of making sure the national government did not become too powerful. One way they did it by the check and balance which is making sure all branches are powerful i.e. the congers can make law but the president had the right to veto the law and if the president passes the law it goes to the Supreme Court who can interrupt this law. After the end of the constitution the state had to decide whether or not they wanted to ratify the new constitution. Federalists and the anti-federalist had an argument if the state or the national government should have the more power. The argument of the anti-federalists was that they though the state needed more power because they are closer to the people and they can meet the need of the people. But the other side of the argument which is the federalists thinks that the reason of the representative of each state is to share with congers the needs of the people. The other way they make sure that each person had the right is by creating bill of right that is list of rights that people have that cannot be taken from them Constitutional Amendments 1-10 make up what is known as The Bill of Rights. the first amendment include freedom of speech, freedom of press , freedom of religion, freedom of assembly and freedom of petition. The first amendment considers the most necessary to the people. By looking at the united state now people wonder why everyone try to come to this country is because freedom. Freedom play a big major part of letting people from others country to come to the united state.

    The constitution it provide the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. After throwing the England Colonization and America become independent which they called the declaration of independent America do not want to give the government too much power. So they create the articles of confederation America first plan of government or you can say the first constitution. It gave the most of the power to the states and very little power to the national government. The national government makes only congers which had the power to declare war, coin money, establish a postal system, and deal with forging countries. However, the weaknesses of the article of confederation was the congers can’t control trade between state and forging countries, no executive branches (no president), no one single currency for the whole country, congers can’t collect taxes, to pass laws 9-13 state how to ratify it. Which make very difficult for the national government to control the country because every state had the right to trade with others state and also every state had it own currency!! After the America revaluations America sever with economy in other word the economy was very slow. And people were unemployed. So they try to make a better solution to make a great government. That could help the people. They created the constitution convention in 1786 (Philadelphia, pa) and one of the goal before creating the constitution convention The constitution it provide the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. The unwritten constitutions are those processes that are not writing in the constitution i.e. Political Parties which is in way to help the elected to get supported by party that he believes in. Term Limits for President Term Limits for President our first President George Washington refused to run for a third term. He felt that to rule for longer than that might give one man too much power. Elastic cause states that congers can make all laws necessary and proper to meets the needs of the country or people. Foe example the national bank Thomas Jefferson though that creating a national bank will give too much power to the government he also though that why we should create bank and no where in the constitutional say that congers can make a national bank. But Hamilton disagree and though that by creating a national bank is very necessary more then is proper the congers can collect taxes and pay the country debt and if does not say it in the constitutionals why we have the elastic cause. This how the American people can comes with idea in the future that helps the country in economy and political way.

    Imagine what life would be like in America if these customs were not used in America does the people would be able to make the right decisions? If the Electoral College ignored the state popular votes would the American people accept their choice of President? How could our political system act without political parties those modern are very important to the people of the united state so they make a great life and better choice. Chooses you make now is actually your future. The only way to do that is by been educated you should learned how to plan for a great future for you, your families and your countries America is not your countries so you can make plane for your origin country or race. You come with new plane that’s better then the America constitution everyone had different opinion but which one is the right opinion this is what you looking for the right choice in the right time. Those are who build and write those right and amendment it doesn’t comes from nothing. They studies very hard to get what they want they built the greatest country in the world if they can do it you also can do it by trying and studies very hard​
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2006-12-11
  3. محمد المنصري

    محمد المنصري عضو متميّز

    التسجيل :
    ‏2006-11-19
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    Salam Khalid
    I have read the essay and I think it is wonderful... but u have to work in it a little bit, for example u have to re-check some phrases.
    For example, the first sentence

    The reason that the united state government is the most powerful and stronger government in the world is because two reasons the first one is the constitution.

    u said the reason that blabla is because two reasons ...
    the most powerful vs stronger: one is enough

    I suggest:

    The governement of the United State is the most powerful government in the world. This is because of two reasons; the first one is the constitution.

    In fact, I don't have any idea about the .......s so I maybe wrong in specifying errors...

    but I should say, give it another look! in fact every essay has to read as many times as possible before submission.

    I will be back!
    Salam
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2006-12-11
  5. SamiAlganhey

    SamiAlganhey عضو متميّز

    التسجيل :
    ‏2004-11-29
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    The reason that the united state government is the most powerful and stronger government in the world is because two reasons the first one is the constitution. The constitution is writing paper by the smarter men’s such as Thomas Jefferson john smith Alexander Hamilton and many others that were very educated men. That makes sure that the government not too much powerful so they created the 3 branches in the America constitution the legislative, executive and judicial branches, which are the congers, president and the Supreme Court. And make sure no branches is more powerful then the other. The second reason was that the American government followed what is writing in the constitution, which is very different than others, different government in different country. The American government did great job of making sure the national government did not become powerful and it provide the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. Two examples that demonstrate this are the check and balance and the bill of right.


    The American government did great job of making sure the national government did not become too powerful. One way they did it by the check and balance which is making sure all branches are powerful i.e. the congers can make law but the president had the right to veto the law and if the president passes the law it goes to the Supreme Court who can interrupt this law. After the end of the constitution the state had to decide whether or not they wanted to ratify the new constitution. Federalists and the anti-federalist had an argument if the state or the national government should have the more power. The argument of the anti-federalists was that they though the state needed more power because they are closer to the people and they can meet the need of the people. But the other side of the argument, which is the federalists, thinks that the reason of the representative of each state is to share with congers the needs of the people. The other way they make sure that each person had the right is by creating bill of right that is list of rights that people have that cannot be taken from them Constitutional Amendments 1-10 make up what is known as The Bill of Rights. The first amendment includes freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion, freedom of assembly and freedom of petition. The first amendment considers the most necessary to the people. By looking at the united state now people wonder why everyone try to come to this country is because freedom. Freedom play a big major part of letting people from others country to come to the united state.

    The constitution it provides the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. After throwing the England Colonization and America become independent which they called the declaration of independent America do not want to give the government too much power. So they create the articles of confederation America first plan of government or you can say the first constitution. It gave the most of the power to the states and very little power to the national government. The national government makes only congers, which had the power to declare war, coin money, establish a postal system, and deal with forging countries. However, the weaknesses of the article of confederation was the congers can’t control trade between state and forging countries, no executive branches (no president), no one single currency for the whole country, congers can’t collect taxes, to pass laws 9-13 state how to ratify it. Which make very difficult for the national government to control the country because every state had the right to trade with others state and also every state had it own currency!! After the America revaluations America severs with economy in other word the economy was very slow. And people were unemployed. So they try to make a better solution to make a great government. That could help the people. They created the constitution convention in 1786 (Philadelphia, pa) and one of the goal before creating the constitution convention The constitution it provide the national government with enough power too meet the needs of the people. The unwritten constitutions are those processes that are not writing in the constitution i.e. Political Parties, which is in way to help the elected to get supported by party that he believes in. Term Limits for President Term Limits for President our first President George Washington refused to run for a third term. He felt that to rule for longer than that might give one man too much power. Elastic cause states that congers can make all laws necessary and proper to meets the needs of the country or people. Foe example the national bank Thomas Jefferson though that creating a national bank will give too much power to the government he also though that why we should create bank and no where in the constitutional say that congers can make a national bank. But Hamilton disagree and though that by creating a national bank is very necessary more then is proper the congers can collect taxes and pay the country debt and if does not say it in the constitutionals why we have the elastic cause. This how the American people can comes with idea in the future that helps the country in economy and political way.

    Imagine what life would be like in America if these customs were not used in America does the people would be able to make the right decisions? If the Electoral College ignored the state popular votes would the American people accept their choice of President? How could our political system act without political parties those modern are very important to the people of the united state so they make a great life and better choice. Chooses you make now is actually your future. The only way to do that is by been educated you should learned how to plan for a great future for you, your families and your countries America is not your countries so you can make plane for your origin country or race. You come with new plane that’s better then the America constitution everyone had different opinion but which one is the right opinion this is what you looking for the right choice in the right time. Those are who build and write those rights and amendment it doesn’t comes from nothing. They studies very hard to get what they want they built the greatest country in the world if they can do it you also can do it by trying and studies very hard









    I've Made Some Changes, But You still Need To Re-write some Lines
    But its a Great Essay
    So Read it, And FIX the Lines that Done make sense
    And Post it Here Again, And I'll Take a look at it
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2006-12-11
  7. T_K

    T_K قلم فضي

    التسجيل :
    ‏2003-11-06
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    Hello brother Khaled
    I really can't correct your errors with explanations right now, but for now, I'll revise your essay for you, and if you want explanations, in shaa allah, you'll get in a later time.1

    *********************here's the revised draft***********************

    For a government to be powerful and successful, it has to have a set of powerful and successful laws. The united states government is the most powerful government in the world. This is because of two reasons: the first one is establishing the constitution, and the second one is following what the constitution states.1

    The constitution is the paper written by the heroes of this country such as Thomas Jefferson, john smith, Alexander Hamilton, and many others that were very educated men. The constitution made sure that the government was not too powerful by creating the three branches in the American constitution: legislative, executive, and judicial branches, which are the congress, the president, and the Supreme Court. The constitution also made sure that no branche was more powerful then the other.1

    By doing exactly as stated in the constitution, the American government did a great job of balancing the powers of the different governmental branches. It provided the national government with just enough power to meet the needs of the people. Two examples that demonstrate this are the check and balance and the bill of rights.1

    The check and balance system made sure all branches were powerful; for example, the congress could make laws but the president had the right to veto the law. Likewise, if the president passed a law, it went to the Supreme Court, which had the power to interpret this law. Then, after that, the state would decide whether or not they wanted to ratify the new amendment. This created an argument between Federalists and anti-Federalists; should the state or the national government have more power? The anti-Federalists thought the state needed more power because it was closer to the people and they could meet the needs of the people. On the other hand, the Federalists thought that the purpose of the representatives of each state was to share with congress the needs of the people.1

    The bill of rights was the first ten constitutional amendments that gave the people the privilages that could not be taken away from them. The first amendment included freedom of speech, freedom of press , freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, and freedom of petition; that is why the first amendment is considered to be the most important one to the people.1

    After all, the power of the American government is derived from the poeple. That's why they government is very powerful. The people vote for the government. However, after that, it becomes the government's responsibility to state new amendments and keep them in effect. Thus, that is why the United States government is the most powerful government in the world.1

    *************************************end***********************************8


    BROTHER KHALED, I LEFT OUT ONE PARAGRAPH BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RELATED TO YOUR THESIS

    YOUR THESIS IS THE MAIN IDEA IN THE ESSAY, AND IT IS STATED IN THE INTRODUCTION

    THE BODY OF THE ESSAY SHOULD EXPLAIN THE POINTS LISTED IN THE THESIS, AND SHOULD NOT BRANSHES OFF TO OTHER POINTS UNLESS VERY CLOSELY RELATED

    PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED MORE HELP



    REGARDS



    TK
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2006-12-23
  9. خالد

    خالد عضو متميّز

    التسجيل :
    ‏2004-01-07
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    am sorry guys for not answering you thinks a lot
    i have fix the essay and come 90%
    think you
    محمد المنصري
    SamiAlganhey
    T_K
    and whoever read my essay
     

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