The Story Of Two Cows .. Again

الكاتب : واحد   المشاهدات : 824   الردود : 5    ‏2006-02-04
      مشاركة رقم : 1    ‏2006-02-04
  1. واحد

    واحد عضو متميّز

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    Story of 2 Cows


    THE STORY OF TWO COWS

    DUBAI SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

    QATAR SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

    SAUDI SYSTEM:

    Since milking the cow involves nipples the Gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

    BAHRAIN SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. Some high Gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov't tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov't and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 month, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.

    LEBANON SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.

    EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!

    YEMENI SYSTEM:

    You have no cows, while government is milking the nation.

    AMERICAN SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

    FRENCH SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.

    RUSSIAN SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    BRITISH SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM:

    You have two cows. You give one to the Americans and one to the British and you go back to shagging sheep​
    !
     
  2.   مشاركة رقم : 2    ‏2006-02-05
  3. yusof2005

    yusof2005 عضو

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    very funny
    i liked it alot hope you have more to share with us
     
  4.   مشاركة رقم : 3    ‏2006-02-06
  5. جراهام بل

    جراهام بل مشرف سابق

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    outstanding bro
     
  6.   مشاركة رقم : 4    ‏2006-02-06
  7. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    THE ONE ABOUT DUBAI IS 100% TRUE :)

    let me write more dear Wa7ed;)




    GERMAN SYSTEM

    you have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month
    and milk themselves.



    ITALIAN SYSTEM
    You have two cows.
    You don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch.


    SWISS SYSTEM
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    You charge others for storing them.




    CHINESE SYSTEM

    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
    reporting the actual numbers.



    JAPANESE SYSTEM

    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
    cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow
    images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.


    IRAQ SYSTEM
    You have two cows.
    They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.



    TALIBAN SYSTEM

    You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any
    creature’s private parts.
    Then you kill them and claim a U.S. bomb blew them up
    while they were in the hospital.
    You take the restitution check and plant opium
    poppies.


    ISRAEL SYSTEM
    There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

    IRAN SYSTEM
    You have two cows.
    You don't know economy.
    You choose one of them as the leader of your country and the other one
    as the president.


    INDIA SYSTEM
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.



    PAKISTAN SYSTEM
    You don't have any cows.
    You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for
    financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for
    machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland
    for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows
    with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.




    YOURS ,
    MAG
    :)


    *Manqoool
     
  8.   مشاركة رقم : 5    ‏2006-02-06
  9. ماجدولين

    ماجدولين مشرفة سابقة مشرف سابق

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    [​IMG]

    Two cows are in a pasture talking. First cow says, "I'm really worried about Mad Cow disease. You think about that much?" Second cow says, "Why should I care? I'm the Queen of England."
     
  10.   مشاركة رقم : 6    ‏2006-02-06
  11. المطرقه

    المطرقه قلم ماسي

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    اللقب الاضافي:
    نجم المجلس اليمني 2009
    Great...and i'm the one who translated it to arbic at the(politics forume).......but mine was short of Dubai ,Qatar..etc......
    anyways.....do you have any comment for Yemen cows....?
    Thank You
     

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